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A Life in the Day of Jake Snyder's Peanut Butter
20 most recent entries

Date:2008-03-12 22:25
Subject:Audi famam... Ilius!

I finaly got around to searching the web for those 3D "Magic Eye" pictures. Inevitably I found a way to make my own. And of course I had to browse through all my random images looking for anything I could use.

This is the first one I made. The texture is a little too regular; it's easy to see the alterations that imbed the hidden image.

Ok, I didn't actually have this one on hand, but I found an old paint file I received long ago that inspired me to browse lj.

I had to find the hidden image on the web. Making [good] depth maps is way too hard for me.

Do not adjust your monitor. The idiot who made the depth map shaded it poorly, so it looks like the neck is bent.

For those of you who, like me, can adjust your focus at will and breeze right through these, I've noticed that if you can unfocus even farther, not only will the hidden image split into two, but the center of the split images will form a third. It has a pleasing effect on the bottom image, like they're stacking. It would be really cool if they could design ones that had multiple hidden images at different levels of focus.

I'm done. I need to get to bed early so I can get up early and Brawl.

8 comments | post a comment

Date:2008-02-27 23:42
Subject:Average = 195 ms

Time for a post of lists.

Books I have recently read.

The Art of War - Sun Tzu
Bushido - The Way of the Samurai
Based on the Hagakure by Tsunetomo Yamamoto
A Book of Five Rings - Miyamoto Musashi
I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU) - Stephen Colbert
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling

My thoughts on them:
The Art of War and Bushido are awesome. Especially Bushido. Really, if you ever get the chance to read a translation of the Hagakure, you should do it. A Book of Five Rings isn't so hot. Musashi was probably the best there was when it came to killing people with a sword. And that's pretty much it. I wanted to read it to find insightful parallels relevant to life today, but it's... as if... meh, Musashi was a jock. Great at what he did, maybe not so much at writing about it. If you like Colbert's show, you'll like his book. The last Harry Potter book. What can I say, I'm a fan. I first laid hands on it at like 7 pm on Jan 6. I ended up reading it till 3 the next morning, and had it finished before noon. I've since read it 4 more times. I'm not going to go into any more detail, thus sparing those of you who A. Haven't read it yet, or B. Are too cool for it and don't care. The only thing I WILL say about the series as a whole is, it needs to be published in a single, giant book. That'd be awesome.

More lists, fewer thoughts.

Movies I've watched (over Christmas break, copy-pasted from an old .txt, includes 0-5 scale)

about the scale...(again, copy-pasted)
I have added a simple 0-5 scale after every title so you can get a general idea of my opinion (otherwise it'd just be a list of movies, how boring is that?)without being subjected to a full review. Because I'm a bottomless pit of boundless cheeriness, all ratings will tend to be skewed positively. (by like a full point, probably)

The Devil Wears Prada 3.5
Catch a Fire 3.0
The Black Dahlia 3.0
Casino Royale 4.0
The Marine 3.5
Live Free or Die Hard 3.0
Stranger than Fiction 4.0
Man of the Year 3.0
The Protector 1.5
Children of Men 3.0
Hot Fuzz 4.5
Letters From Iwo Jima 4.0
Paprika 3.5
Bloodwork 3.0
A Prairie Home Companion 2.5
Underworld Evolution 3.0
Crank 3.0
The Good Shepherd 3.0
Balls of Fury 2.5
The Pursuit of Happyness 3.0
Aeonflux 2.5
Blood Diamond 3.5
The Night Listener 2.0
Evan Almighty 3.5
Shooter 3.5
Planet of the Apes 3.0
Transporter 2 3.0
Pride and Prejudice 3.0
The Astronaut Farmer 3.0
Zodiac 3.0
The Departed 4.0

Anyway, the following is probably every anime I've ever seen(1). No particular order. I'll try to keep the thoughts brief, but as I go on I'll probably get more and more into it and turn this post into a freaking novel. Possible spoilers marked.

*especially enjoyed for some reason
**personal favorites

Ghost in the Shell (Stand alone complex)
Great once you get into their little human-machine merging universe, and can understand what's going on. Took me a few episodes.

*Read or Die (TV)
Awesome. Especially liked the facial expressions. I may be in love with Maggie. The only problems were 1. I slipped into this mindset where the characters were extraordinary, but the world they lived in was normal, only to have something batshit crazy happen. It was like they kept flipping back and forth between a realistic and fantastic universe. And 2. There's a couple episodes that don't seem to serve any purpose(no character development, plot forwarding, just a seemingly random story).

Witch Hunter Robin (POSSIBLE SPOILER)
Good. I can't remember this one too well, but I remember that I totally called the soylent green-style plot-twist.

Hellsing (TV)
Very nice. Plenty of plot left to be explained, but I don't care. Short and sweet. Wish the main female character had embraced her vampiric self and honed some powers. (ty, AMVHell)

Excel Saga
First time I watched this I didn't care for it. Probably because it was immediately after watching Witch Hunter Robin, so my mood was all... serious. I kept looking for a plot. Second time through I loved it. (ty, AMVHell)

Cat Soup
Interesting view of the underworld. That's about it. There's not much to it beyond crazy visual concepts.(ty, AMVHell)

Hot Trigun ripoff. Story's weak. Some of the characters are interest- oh hell, I have to do it. It's ok. eh reloads from her boobs and doesn't afraid of anything. (ty, AMVHell)

Read or Die (OVA)
Nice. A little too short and a little too crazy.

It's good. I can't remember anything to point out, but it was really really good. (ty, AMVHell)

Yu Yu Hakusho
I've got a history with this one. Takes me back to my Cartoon Network days. Plot stays fresh despite the extreme length, and it didn't seem to move too slowly (at least to me).

School Rumble
Pretty good. Lower end of the scale. Humor's not the best, and the plot wanders. It has its moments. Its use of the word "kappa" in one episode allowed me to make a mental connection between this anime, final fantasy, and TMNT III that made my heart explode with joy. Thanks, translator notes! (ty, AMVHell)

Bottle Fairy
Adorable. Don't watch it for anything but cuteness, because it's like watching Sesame Street. (ty, AMVHell)

Outlaw Star
Another Cartoon Network that I had to see in Japanese. Not bad at all. They try to work in some deeper message about the "freeness" of wandering space, but it doesn't really work out.

Love Hina (and the Christmas and Spring Specials, probably Love Hina Again, too)
Ah... the harem comedy. Stereotypical characters, outrageous situations, a main character so frustrating you want to reach through the screen and smack him. All the elements are present. It succeeded in entertaining me. The Christmas special is nice. The other two are completely unnecessary.

Death Note
Wonderful idea. Amazing delivery. Truly brilliant. Then it totally died for me about 2/3 through. It opened so many doors- so many different ways the anime could have developed- but chose to follow only the most mundane options, leaving gaping holes in its wake. Interesting philosophical questions are raised, then ignored. Major characters are removed and introduced awkwardly. I ended up with the feeling that it was being made up as they went along. It reminded me of everything I hate about Lost. If it didn't rock so hard in the beginning, I wouldn't have liked it at all. (ty, AMVHell)

Elfen Lied (SPOILER)
Shocking opening. I had to pause it for a full minute in the first episode while I stopped laughing when that guy had his friend's heart land in his lap. I mean, worst day at work ever. It seems pointless at first before the back-story fills in. That back-story is tragic and beautiful. Ending leaves a TON of unanswered questions. (ty, AMVHell)

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Wow. I'll get it out of the way- the episodes are out of order. That has NOTHING to do with how great this anime is. The animation is fantastic, the overall story is interesting, and the characters are brilliant. Individual episodes can be unwieldy, and the episode order CAN trip up your understanding of what's going on, but it all comes together well. It fulfills the requirements of a school comedy, a fantasy, and a love story equally and completely. That's right, 100% + 100% + 100%. It's a good anime 3 times over and that's why I like it. (ty, AMVHell)

Good. The comedy is weak and predictable, but the main female character is adorable so I don't care. (RUN ON SENTENCE WARNING)The fact that both this anime and Elfen Lied had beautiful amnesiacs whose vocabulary had been reduced to monosyllabic utterances that practically define cute as leading ladies DID make me raise an eyebrow. But the fascinating philosophical question the anime explores glosses over these potentially disastrous flaws. Plus, robot chicks. Dude. (ty, AMVHell)

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
Wonderful. Positively wonderful. It's unfortunate that every story that includes time travel has to also include the standard "Time travel never works out" moral. That's a major reason why I love Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. (ty, AMVHell)

Vandread (1st and 2nd, whatever, it's one story)
Saw the first, maybe even the second episode, and was sure, absolutely SURE, that I would HATE this anime. It seemed so cliche: the boy that refused to accept his place in society, sneaks into the military and discovers a mighty weapon. Then, quite by accident, finds himself the wielder of said weapon and sole hope for mankind. Ugh. But despite this, despite the common harem-anime flaws, despite the robot that must transform to beat the enemy at the end of pretty much every episode, a decent story emerged. It definitely took it's time, but a story about the reunification of mankind gradually takes shape and demands respect. (ty, AMVHell)

Beautiful. Incredible story. Incredible characters. It's... like watching The Godfather...only much more action-packed and fast-paced, and with a sci-fi twist. A story about many things, but I'd like to think it's mostly a story about friendship. (ty, AMVHell)

*Cowboy Bebop
Brilliant. An undeniable work of art. My only problem with it is that individual episodes aren't as entertaining as the overall story. There's almost a sense of disconnect from episode to episode. Of course, I realize that this is probably because each episode is so stylistically unique, but that didn't stop it from bugging me. That said, this is probably one of the best anime ever made. And everyone knows it, so I'll just stop.

Unique doesn't begin to describe it. There are anime, and then there's FLCL. Is it an action? A comedy? A romance? All of them? No. It's none of them. FLCL is something so completely different that such labels hinder the descriptive process. For me, it's so blasted imaginative that I find myself left behind. For me, it's the Andy Kaufman of anime- it's either the most brilliant thing ever, or not.

Fruits Basket
This anime is the happiest thing I've ever seen. If joy was a food, this anime deep-fries it and spoon-feeds it to you. The main character is the most perfect, selfless, caring, hard-working, naive, innocent girl ever. I'm probably going to have to spend the rest of my life waiting for a chance to tell someone they have a plumb on their back.

Full Metal Alchemist (And the movie)
Didn't they play this on Cartoon Network? I was very surprised how dark the storyline is. This anime's great. Long, but not boring. The main characters are very dynamic. Just like with Read or Die, I find myself captivated by the imaginative abilities of each character. I thought the ending (of both the series and the movie) made terrible attempts at dramatic tension by forcing the main characters apart. It seamed cheap. But overall, well done.

Hack Sign
Not sure what to think. Interesting idea, anime inside MMO, but the story seemed woefully incomplete. There's a good chance I haven't seen all of it, so I'll hold off.

Serial Experiments: Lain
I need to watch it again. I can't remember it enough, and I'm pretty sure the plot confused me the first time through.

Last Exile
Nice. Unique. Decent story, good characters. I especially liked the character animation and the scenery.

Neon Genesis Evangelion
Waaaaaay too deep for me to review. I hate the main chara- you know what? I hate every single character in this entire anime. But I still liked it. The story is wonderful, if confusing.

Rurouni Kenshin (And the OVA)
I loved it, but possibly only because this is another nostalgic Cartoon Network flashback. The characters are a bit one-dimensional. The story progresses slowly, but is interesting. The ties to actual Japanese history manage to root the back story in reality, but the characters and main story are all exaggerated nicely. Unfortunately, I feel the show ran too long. It comes to a definite conclusion, and then for some reason they decide to just start a new story up.

Samurai Champloo
Entertaining. Artsy. At times I wondered if this wasn't made in America. I didn't really care for the hip-hop style, but that didn't stop my from liking the anime as a whole.

Very imaginative in its presentation. Action packed. Quality story. Every aspect of the story is rooted in the concept of standing by your principles.

Grand. There wasn't a character I didn't like. The story is excellent, and moves smoothly. I like this anime more than Cowboy Bebop. I only say that because I was exposed to them at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I feel that Cowboy Bebop is a better anime, but I LIKED Trigun more.

*Rah Xephon
Excellent. I didn't care for the look of some of the characters, but I love their personalities. The story is near perfection, brilliant in its tragedy. I love how each character is slowly revealed to be related to all the others.

**Azumanga Daioh
Quite possibly my favorite anime. Quite literally a "slice of life" anime, nothing here is completely unreasonable- I find myself thinking that the entire cast and plot could really exist. Because of this, the comedy is very subtle, and timing is key. The comedy is firmly rooted in the artist's use of repetition and very simple, almost minimalist animation. There are several instances where an animation is reused, not because of laziness, but because that is the style. And the effect is stunning. The music is again, simple, but catchy, and very appropriate. The voice acting is flawless. The characters, while appearing in very stereotypical roles, all have some hidden dimension that allows the viewer to connect as they might with a real person. As the anime progresses, so does your understanding of each character, and thus the comedy creates itself- born out of your connection to the characters and their situation, rather than the anime going out of its way for a laugh. There's something very natural, very basic in its appeal. (ty, AMVHell)

Gunslinger Girl
It's been way too long(a year) since I last saw it, and I've only seen it once, so I can barely remember it.

Ah My Goddess Sorezore no Tsubasa
Not the beginning of the series. I hate starting in the middle. The comedy is cheap and predictable. Nevertheless it's funny. (ty, AMVHell)

I need to watch this one again, too.

Intriguing animation style. Interesting story. I enjoyed it, but I can't remember anything really noteworthy.

Spirited Away
Awesome. The story has a very classic feel to it. Brilliantly imaginative.

Princess Mononoke
It's been 3 years, I can barely remember it.

Castles in the Sky
3 years again.

Very nice. I love the music especially. I could never have dreams like that.

Good. Engaging story. The characters are a little weak outside the three main roles. The ending leaves a bit to be desired. Throughout the story, there's a pervading theme of pursuing one's dream. But at the end, this theme disappears. While most of the story takes place in reality, there's a supernatural aspect that's only just hinted at once or twice. Again, in the end, the whole anime seems to turn a corner, and now there's demons everywhere. It's like you're watching a completely different anime but with the same characters. Despite this rather unexplained dynamic, the show remains entertaining. (ty, AMVHell)

Hikaru no Go
An anime about a game. Like Yu-Gi-Oh, except it's a REAL GAME. The anime spans several years of a child's life as he learns to play Go from the ghost of a master. Good animation. The story is dramatic and entertaining. The games are kept exciting by appropriately focusing on the spirit behind the moves, rather than deeply examining the strategy. Quite good, enough so to make me dabble in the game a bit.

*Junni Kokki
At first, weird. You, like the characters in the story, are quite suddenly forced into an unfamiliar world that you do not understand. But once you figure out what's going on, oh man this one's good. Several stories are told, but they mostly focus on a single girl's journey to understand herself. But that's not why I like it. I like it because of the immersive quality the anime has. The world is comparable in complexity to perhaps Narnia or Middle Earth (not quite, but yeah). It's filled with fantastic interpersonal, supernatural, and political intrigue. Wonderful.

Good. The story (especially the back-story) is a bit loose, but interesting. The characters are stereotypical, but their histories are complex enough that they seem justified. The whole them of peace vs. war being the wish of mankind is fascinating.

Currently Watching:

Wolf's Rain
looks good so far

Full Moon wo Sagashite
might be the first anime I don't like. Not that it's bad, I'm just not the target audience.

Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien
They should put a warning label on this anime, "Side effects may include suicidal thoughts" Holy crap it's so sad. I can not wait to see where it goes from here.

Some thoughts: (copy-pasted)
I have never, NEVER seen(1) an anime I didn't like. In fact, after completing an anime, I have a disturbing tendency to think it was the greatest thing I've ever seen. This eventually wears off, but still, disturbing. Watching anime is a euphoric experience for me. The adrenaline-endorphin cocktail produced in my brain when it is exposed to the right combination of animation and the Japanese language can send me into a fist-clenched pacing frenzy. Oh, uh... I pace... allot. Even anime that I don't like at first tend to bring me around in the end (except Death Note, which had almost the opposite effect).

(1)note, in order to have "seen" an anime, I must have watched it in its entirety. Thusly, I've never seen Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Gundam Wing, One Piece, etc. Also, in order to be included I must also have watched it with Japanese audio, the only possible exceptions are films such as Spirited Away.

One final thought.

I've found a frustration with my current internet setup. Never before have I had anything but a FLAWLESS connection. Even with dialup, when I clicked a link, the page would open. It'd take years, but it'd open. This current setup, while indeed "5 times faster" forces me to click links multiple times, refresh pages MULTIPLE TIMES, because it'll just STOP. Like it forgot what it was doing. It's amazing. I pinged google for 5 minutes or so just for fun? 15% loss. FIFTEEN PERCENT. That's crazy. So crazy that I decided to make a livejournal post for it. And then I thought, "well, I'll put some stuff in there from my update text file." And then I thought, "well, I'll put a little comment after every anime."

6 comments | post a comment

Date:2008-01-27 19:48
Subject:Just chill, miki frickies!


Oregon's got a govoner, yeah? his name's Ted k- ko- ku-... Ted Kulo... Screw it- Ted Colonoscopy- I don't care. Anyways, he looks like some freakish hybrid of Donald Rumsfeld and Michael Eisner. Seriously, it's scary.


in this one he looks more like Eisner... but in others the Rumsfeld is more pronounced.

the rest of this post is even worse.

On TV Commercials:

I like originality. Too often with generic commercials I can see the inner workings. As I'm watching I can see why they picked that actor, that wardrobe, why they chose to word a line just so. Too many commercials are so formulaic that it's like watching a magic trick where you already know how it's done. It's ruined. And with commercials, I often feel like it's insulting. So I like anything different, original, surprising. Here're my thoughts on a few. Oh, you really won't know what I'm talking about if you haven’t seen the commercials, just so you know.

Kudos Geiko. Your caveman commercials were good enough to be made into a show (regardless of whether or not the show's any good, it's noteworthy), your gecko is still endearing (though losing novelty fast), your sudden, "I just saved money" series became a phenomenon, and your "The Real Scoop" commercials are pretty nice (except that cabbage-patch one, ugh). While your "regular person paired with a famous one" commercials are hit-or-miss, you remain original, and above-average overall.

Shame on Esurance. Your attempts to make comparing insurance rates seem like action scenes from various popular movie genres are ridiculous and annoying. Oh, and jumping on the global warming bandwagon isn't going to help you. Neither is getting animated "customer testimonials". We can see through you- I CAN SEE THROUGH YOU. Kudos Nikos for sharing my opinion.

Kudos... Kia? I think it was Kia. That commercial where the auto salesman dances around the showroom to "She's a Maniac" with different lyrics. You get kudos for the part with the water, and earlier when he starts to do a pelvic thrust but you cut away part way through. That's hilarious. Oh, but y'know, since I'm not sure if it was Kia or not, you lose points for not making the brand prominent enough.

Kudos Quiznos. I haven’t heard from you in a while, but I've liked every commercial you've made. From your blatant, direct attacks on Subway, to those singing hamster things that were so radically different, they blew my mind. Plus, your food is good. EDIT: I have heard from them lately, they're doing fairly generic commercials... but with an incredibly deep, low voice-over that makes it decent.

Shame on Head ON. Your first commercial was so annoying that it made the news. Why'd you have to ruin that achievement with the absolute trash you put out after? What started as a money-saving corner-cut could have become one of the great success stories of advertising. Your subsequent advertisements are some of the worst I've seen. And now it turns out that a your product doesn't actually work. The only possible way you can turn this train wreck around is if it turns out that you (the creator of the product) had a bad headache, rubbed your head with a glue stick for... some reason, felt a bit better, and had an idea to create a scam- that's right, a deliberate deception with a product that you knew had no real health benefits, and then marketed it to the world. If that turns out to be the case... you'd be my hero.

Shame on that guy who gives out the free computer-learning lessons. Profiting from people's incompetence. At least the -for dummies series has the decency to just put their books on the shelves. But to push your product on TV? You bastard.

Shame on Billy Mays. You had a product: Oxy Clean. Life was good. Now, what, Orange Glo? Hercules Hooks? Mighty Putty? Handy Switch? You used to represent something. That something was cleaning with the power of oxygen. Now you just look like a snake oil peddler.

Kudos Sonic. Your drive through conversations sometimes hit the awesome mark.

Shame on Ballpark Franks. You had a nice idea getting away from athlete sponsorships. And the "hunger having its own hand” concept was good. But that, "Hunger get what hunger want" line just sucked. You really dropped the ball there.

Kudos FreeCreditReport.com. Dropping the formal attitude and catchy jingle was a gamble, but that seafood restaurant commercial... Ok, the song: catchy, sticks in your head, and the fact that it's a western but you're in a seafood restaurant is great. There's a guy playing the spoons. YES!!! The harmony on "Freeeeee Credit” is great, the other guy's, "Yeeehaw" is perfect, and, best of all, the old lady. Where the heck did you find her? She's amazing. She's into the song, and it's great. Then, for no reason, she's suddenly pissed about something. She has nothing to do with the product at all. Awesome. Just plain Awesome.

Shame on FreeCreditReport.com. What the hell happened? Your other commercial was so good. It was good because it had something special. (It had an awesome old lady.) This one about living with your girl who has bad credit just doesn't. The song is bad. Just bad. The girl walking in and out provides nothing. You've got a bad song, and nothing memorable. Get it together. Oh, and that one about having to buy a crappy car because you've got bad credit? Yeah... people who can't rap, shouldn't try. "F-R-E-E That spells free?" Are you serious!?!?!?

Kudos G4. You have some of the most unintentionally honest ads. Yes, your channel is exactly like tech-related unicorn vomit. Robotic defecation is a pretty accurate description as well. Nicely done.

Ok, those were mild, but these take the cake. They're so bad, that I feel unjustified hatred toward the people in them. I mean, they're just doing their jobs, they didn't really MAKE the commercial, but nonetheless, I think less of them because of their appearance.

SHAME ON HUGHES NET. That is quite possibly the worst commercial I've ever seen. It's like the director of that got behind the camera and said to that red-head, "Ok, now, you're selling high-speed internet. This time, we want you to be as condescending as humanly possible. We're really trying to insult the viewers into buying this stuff. Really drive home the idea that you're better than them, and that you're doing them a big freaking favor by telling them what they want. And to top it all off, if you can, try to make it apparent that you don't have a FUCKING CLUE about what you're selling throughout the shoot." This piece of crap makes me want to claw at my face until I tear the flesh clean off. To take my mind off the PAIN.

SHAME ON APPLE. Not the i-phone commercials, there's nothing bad about those (nothing good about them, either), but the Mac vs PC series. Few things enrage me more than someone with a deceptive attitude. Shrouded in the guise of someone who's just trying to help, just being a nice guy, when really he's just scamming you. Oh, he doesn't say anything that's a lie- nooooo, he's too clever for that. But his purpose is to deceive. He twists the truth, shows selective information, and spins the results, all the while making the other side look combative, confrontational, and weak. He always maintains this shroud of rationality, while discretely baiting and provoking his opponent into frustration, so that he appears the irrational one. Of course, the fact that the commercial appears to be a debate, where two sides are represented, while in reality it's a commercial for apple, so only half the story is being told is just the icing on the cake. The makers of this commercial should do some serious soul-searching. I mean, this goes beyond the traditional deception of... every commercial. This is way past bogus before and after photos, scripted "customer testimonials", and, "You don't need a prescription" (like having a perscription is a bad thing, what assholes... by the way, shame on Maxiderm). This is borderline malicious. Borderline evil. And Microsoft is supposed to have that market cornered. Kudos Joe for making satirical comics about these.

SHAME ON BURGER KING. We stopped providing the one service we're famous for. We intentionally screwed up customer orders. What happened? People hated it. YOU THINK!?!? I'm supposed to buy your food now? The very idea that people's reaction to denial of service is evidence that they like that service is stupid. I'm supposed to believe that when a guy comes in and orders a whopper, and then is upset that you've just given him a big mac, that that means the whopper is better? You might as well have given him a severed finger, or slapped him in the face. "Ooooh, he's upset! He must really like the whopper." Heh, or he really hates getting dicked around with. It's a good thing they weren't stupid enough to actually do this to real people. However, they lose even more points for using such terrible actors. (On the off chance they actually did do it, shame on those people for being such drama queens) Oh, and I'm a bit out of the loop, but I get the feeling that it's become fashionable to make fun of this commercial. If that's the case, read the next section.

On ideas I've had that have later become reality
"I thought of it first!"

Number one: Fiber optics. My idea. No joke. I was like, seven. Came up with the idea while waiting for the school bus. Of course, I didn't foresee its current application. At the time, I was working on the concept of teleportation. It seemed to me, that if we could turn matter into light, then we could travel at light speed- in essence, teleport. Ah, but I knew light would travel outward in all directions, thus scattering any travelers beyond recovery. So I came up with the concept of a tube, the interior of which was reflective. This way, all the light would just bounce around through the tube. We could travel at the speed of light. In my young mind, I had just solved half the problem of teleportation. Imagine my surprise when years later I learned that someone had taken my flight of fancy and had turned it into a practical tool.

If anyone looks up fiber optics and discovers that the original concept, or early versions had appeared before I was even born or something and then has the gall to tell me about it, then I'll hate them for crushing my childhood dreams.

Number two: Rock Band. The video game. My idea. I've told more than one person that I thought it'd be a cool idea to combine Guitar Hero, Drums, and Karaoke into one cooperative game. Of course, my original idea also included combining Dance Dance, but hey, Mark Twain imagined space travel so close to reality it was eerie, yet he had us entering space by being fired out of a cannon. I think I was close enough.

I'm well aware that since Guitar Hero, Karaoke, and a drumming rhythm game already existed, that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to think of putting them together. Even if it was inevitable, I'm still glad I thought of it.

On Gameshows

Because gameshows that make the audience feel stupid don't sell well, and the average viewer is pretty dang stupid, most gameshows have devolved into either nothing but pop-culture questions, games that involve no actual skills at all, or have become so easy that it's like wathcing the real-life version of SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy. They also contain HUGE ammounts of needless dramma. Seriously, Deal or No Deal, if you're going to just run a chance-based televised charity, you should at least do it efficiently. You could fit like 10 people through there in each hour long episode.

OOOH! Watch Chain Reaction. It's a low-budget Gameshow Network... gameshow. The most you can win is $5000, and it's incredibly easy. But the people on that show... the contestants... it's like they did the screening where people tried out to get on the show, and they picked the guys that did the WORST, just so it'd be funny. It's a word-association game. Take "Captain America" it's two words that together form a single entity, in this case, a title. So if you were given the word Captain, and you knew there was another word that fit after it, there's a set number of possible words that would work. America, Crunch, Planet, Hampton, Kangaroo- and so on. The show gives you hints by filling in letters of the missing word, and sometimes there are words beyond that give you clues. For instance:
it's fairly easy to deduce that "Planet" is the missing word, fitting reasonably both after the word Captain, and before the word Hollywood. But the contestants on the show are so retarded, it's a wonder they're not tied together so they don't get lost. That clue could be all the way out to "Plane____", and they'd guess Planetoid. That's not an exaggeration(but it's unlikely such a big word would be guessed, at this point it's far more likely they'd just slowly shake their head with their mouth partway open and their eyes slightly squinted until time ran out). The show is a must-watch, because they're so bad it IS funny, and it gives you something to vent frustration at.

Sweet, winter finally grew a pair. Its been in the 40's since November. Finally just last week it drops into the 20's. And today we got 4 1/2 inches of snow. In Glide. That's got to be a record. I'm amazed I still have power (not that I think the power should be out, it's just that Glide's power goes out everytime a cat sneezes outside. And in fact, the power IS out in some places).

I'm done for now. I have PAGES of stuff that I've written out, none of it really fit for anyone else to read. And VOLUMES of unwritten stuff in my head that I've labled, "ooh, I could write about that on livejournal." But I've passed the line where "effort required to do something" is less than "combined obligation and desire to do it". If I'm lucky I'll post again soon. If YOU'RE lucky I won't post for a long, long time.

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Date:2006-12-06 11:23
Subject:Political correctness

Hi there, I'm Jake Snyder, and from this point on in this post I'll be referring to myself as if I was more than one person. We've had a lot of laughs here at A Life in the Day, and we would like to say that we appreciate our readers. In our last post, we made a remark that some of our readers might view as ant-semitic. It's near the bottom- yeah... that's it, heh heh h- ahem. We want to assure you that the statement made was aimed at a specific individual- Mike- with whom we've shared many a comedic moment, and not at the Jewish faith. Jewish people are most certainly not stupid. The Jewish faith is an honorable worldview, and we respect all views here, no matter what our own beliefs. We sincerely apologize to any people that found that statement even "a bit too racy" Thank you for your time, and Merry Christmas*.

* In order to save space, we've chosen to mention Christmas alone, because while we respect all holidays, Christmas is obviously the best**.

** That was said in jest.

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Date:2006-12-06 10:58
Subject:"Metal by Numbers, COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE!!"
Mood:"My heart explodes with joy!

Whoo Finals.

Music technology final: turn in final project that was assigned like 7 weeks ago. The project has no standards besides that it must be music, and assumably a computer must be used for something.

me: don't go to class for 7 weeks. Decide to use old unfinished "Insect Nation" FL Studio rendition started a year ago as a project. Get a call from the professor asking about how my project's coming and reminding me that it's due soon. The night before, spend 4-5 hours finishing(-ish)the project. (4-5 hours is approximately 2-3 weeks of class anyway, plus the class doesn't have FL Studio) Turn in the project(let the instructor listen to it, there's actually nothing to turn in). Since there are no standards whatsoever, and music is incredibly subjective, I assume grading is based on if the project sounds like you put effort into it or not. The prof seemed to enjoy it, but I don't think rock is her genre. She seemed impressed by the drums.

Math final: fairly cumulative test, with slightly more focus on recently covered material.

me: miss the last 2-3 weeks of class, including aforementioned recent material. The week before finals, ask another kid from class what I missed/when the final is. Call from the professor asking whether I'm coming to the final reaches parents instead of me. (DUDE! What is with these people and using the phone!?) The night before the final, read the 3-4 sections of the text I missed, do various problems for practice, copy down formulas of note. Get 3 hours of sleep. Stress a bit because recent material, while absorbed and comprehended, doesn't have teacher explanation and classroom context to back it up. Take the final. No surprises, no real uncertainties. Look around. No one else has finished. Glance back at answers. Look around. Still no one. Worry that I've missed something big/do a little dance because I finished first even though I was gone/worry that this experience will re-enforce slacker tendencies. Think of a clever way to check my final answer with the calculator. The numbers don't add up. Begin to doubt that I actually understand the concept behind the problem. Check answers (it's a multiple-answer question) on the calculator a different way. Each one comes out correct. Look at the previous way I checked my answers. Spot error in checking method, double the certainty that I've done the problem correctly. Look around. Damn! What's up with these guys? I've been done for like 10 minutes! If I turn it in now, the other students would either think I'm skipping the material I missed and giving up, that I'm a genius, or that I'm a jackass genius that doesn't need to come to class. The teacher has the choice of the latter two, since he'll see my work. Reasonably sure that since I've waited so long that everyone else is nearly done, I turn it in. Upon self-assessment(which everyone should do after they take a test) I estimate a 50% chance that I aced it, and a 98% chance that I got an A on it. Usually I'm more conservative in my estimates, but I was "feeling it" for that one.

what a wierd tense to write in. Ugh, reading it again sucks.

I feel really bad because both of my finals stories involve phone calls from instructors concerning vast amounts of missed class.

I had a nightmare last week that my mom found out how much class I was missing(an exaggerated dream number), so I didn't get a Wii for Christmas. Unfortunately my conscious mind can't take a hint.

I also had a dream last week that terrorists took over Diamond Lake while I was still working there, and for some reason their actions meant that a ton of people were going to be fishing in the lake, and that we (The Forest Service) could charge a bunch of money per fish. So, these terrorists were making us a whole mess of money (like a mini military-industrial-complex). So Wallig(boss) is flipping out because we're rich. The gatehouse had this cool fish ramp, and people would put their fish on it, and it would slide by, and we'd charge 'em. I had to call Zeb(guy I work with) and tell him to call the police to get rid of the terrorists, but since we were making so much money, I was like, "So... terrorists have taken over, so I'm gonna need you to call an ambulance(I don't know why) and like, all the police in the county. But... could you wait like ten minutes first, then call?" And Zeb and I just busted out laughing...


Thou must pay homage, and kneel before the awesome might that is Santa. Those who refuse shall be crushed by the doom that is his jolly boots.

I'm too lazy to change my mp3 player's playlist, and that's all I listen to in the car, so I've listened to Nikos's mp3 Attack selections for like 3 months now. I'm certainly tired of them, but every time I think about which ones I'd remove, I remember this awesome part of the song that makes me want to keep it.

Merry Christmas all (happy Hanukkah/Chanukah Mike, you stupid Jew. And yes, I got that THING you sent me)

Santa is here! Raise the shields, children!

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Date:2006-10-19 10:58

Be sure to listen to his cd sampler, or the songs on his myspace page so you can appreciate the sound quality.

A sonic marvel

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Date:2006-09-28 12:20

Hee hee, the other day this guy was sitting next to me on a computer in the library, and while he was doing... something -I don't know, I wasn't paying attention, he runs into a popup. Now this guy is a pro, he knows better than to click cancel, he'd tried that before and is wise to these popups and their crafty ways. He goes straight for the X in the corner. Except this particular popup was a little tricky- the whole thing was a link, including the X. I could see how suprised he was when a webpage opened and the popup didn't dissapear. He closes the page, and tries the X again. It is at this point I realize that the man sitting next to me is an idiot. He seems sure that trying the exact same thing over again with a computer will yield different results. And the fact that the pointer turns into a hand as soon as it encounters any part of the popup isn't tipping him off at all. So next he tries clicking Cancel. Then the X two more times. Then he mutters to himself, "I don't believe this." At this point I'm leaning back in my chair with my hands supporting my head, using my elbows to shield the incredibly huge grin on my face. The guy then tries clicking OK, just in case the popup is using reverse-psychology on him. Suprise suprise, it isn't. He tries Cancel twice more, then the X again. Then he just starts clicking all over the popup in frustration. I'm really trying not to start to shake with laughter as, sure enough, like 15 pages open. The guy is so pissed that he just walks off.

He probably made some advertising company like $1000. The only thing I like about advertisors is that they're realists- they know that the world is made up of incredibly stupid people.

Pardon me, I've got to go take my memory-enhancing-penis-enlarging-hair-growing-weight loss pills that independant studies have shown to contain high ammounts of concentrated moon-wizzard piss and are garunteed to make me better-looking, more-intellegent, and sexified. Totaly worth $3000000 dollars a bottle.

Oh that's right, I left them at home next to my Ionic Breeze and my Ab Lounge

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Date:2006-08-04 14:25
Subject:well haooooooooowdy everbody! I'm Rathbone-Jo-Bob. e-yup.

uber bonus points to anyone that knows the meaning of that without any research.

Good news. I'm not dead.

Bad news. I have almost no internet at home, am too lazy to write letters, and despise phones, so most people will think otherwise.

Why is it that so few people can say Sudoku? I just saw a lady lose $25 because she called it, "sun-duku" or something. My dad always calls it, "soduko".

anyway, update time! I've been working. My typical day calls for getting up before I used to go to bed when I was in school, an hour-long car ride, then a slightly shorter government vehicle ride, followed by a very long walk, then exstensive walking, then some more walking with liberal use of hand tools and walking, and then walking back to where I started. Then the ride/drive back home. My job rocks.

The biggest perk of waking up when I do is that you get to see the very lowest level of television advertising. Picture a woman sitting in a chair rubbing her forehead with a gluestick. Then say aloud, "Head On. Apply directly to the forehead!" as if it were the coolest idea ever. Seriously, don't just read it and imagine what it would sound like, go back and say it aloud so the words really sink in. Then repeat four times. No, don't just say it again, repeat it exactly, like you recorded it one time and just kept playing it back. That has to be the saddest, funniest, most annoying commercial ever. It blows the old, "We love the Subs!" singing Quiznos commercial out of the water. In fact, it just plain blows.

Picture time!!!! Please excuse my laziness-in my haste to reduce filesize, I didn't bother to cut the edges off the pictures.

Oh my GOD!  It"s a DEEEEEER!! Quick, everybody look!  Get your faces right up against the glass of the bus windows! WOAH!  A DEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!
This is how you know you're up early- when you wake up the animals

I actually saw my first bear out in the woods a couple weeks ago. The encounter was very brief.

Another first encounter for me.
This guy was on the Bradley trail. That trail was nasty. My trail partner told me to watch out for poison oak, rattlesnakes, and scorpions. He's never told me to watch out for that on any other trail that we've worked on. Sure enough, I pick up a piece of bark and this little guy's underneath it. By the time we got it out into the open, took its picture, and scooted it off the trail, it was really pissed off.

Who"s the genius that came up with the name, "waterfall"?
one of the best things about working on trails is that trails have this funny tendancy to go places.

How"s the weather up here?  Just dandy, thanks.  How"s the weather down there?
I really thought that it was going to be a crappy, cloudy day. Talk about getting away from the weather.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a picture of an elk?  They"re totaly gone by the time you see them
This was a very lucky day. We managed to see the elk without them seeing/hearing/smelling us, allowing me the oportunity to sneak up and get some pictures. This was also the day where I broke my "miles walked in a day" record. It used to be 18 miles. Now it's 20.5. Don't forget, by "in a day" I really mean, "in about 8 hours while doing trail work and including breaks for food and beverage"

Dew neh loh moh on all waterbars.

The thing in my hands is called a "shohoe"(pronounced show-hoe).  It"s a mixture of the words "shovel" and "hoe."  it"s a shovel that"s been heated and bent into the shape of a hoe.
Dang, the one day I forget my normal hat and end up wearing a hardhat is the day I get my picture taken. Oh well.

I always find it interesting when the thermometer at home says 106, and then the next day I'm walking through patches of snow 10-15 feet deep. Don't get me wrong, it still gets plenty hot, there's just so much snow in some places.

So I was out on the Pacific Crest Trail on Wednesday. It was an important day because this was going to be the last day of work on that trail. We had about 2.5 miles of trail to work on to finish, with about 6 miles to walk in to reach that section. On the walk in, while still in an area we'd already been through, we encountered a newly fallen tree that we had to remove. I don't think people realize just how many trees fall on these trails. It's insane. Anyway, we get that one out of the way, and enter the ground that we havn't covered yet. After a while we meet our first hiker. Now, hikers on the PCT are very special, because it's a special trail(runs from Mexico to Canada). So it's always great to run into people, especially people walking the full length. Anyway, we meet this hiker going the other way, which is great because it means he's walked through the area that we're heading into, and he could tell us what's ahead. So he complements us on our work, tells us he can see that we've been doing a good job. And when we ask him how many trees are down for the last 2 miles he's been walking, we're greatly relieved to hear that he's seen none. No trees down. That's great news to hear, it means we'll be getting home on time. So we let him get back to his hike and head onward full of hope. Not 100 feet down the trail, there's a tree lying completely across. It's at least 14-16 inches in diameter, and in fact splits into two trees where it crosses the trail. So this guy we met steps over this tree, which would take a bit of stretching, and then not 30 seconds later runs into us and tells us there's nothing. We were blown away. But luckily we finished off the trail with no problems.

I walked 56 miles this week. 17 of them were on that Wednesday.

I think the best descriptive phrase I've ever heard is, "dryer than a popcorn fart" 'cause come on, that's really dry.

yay! I just downloaded a 43.3mb file. It took 5hr 27min. I despise dialup.

well, that's it for me. Maybe I'll post something again in a couple months.

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Date:2006-03-21 16:04
Subject:Lets Rock... AND RIDE!!!!

Wooo, it's time for another one of those posts where I showcase something I've created!

As some of you may know, it has always been a goal of mine to become part of a barbershop quartet. Well, I've brought it up with a few people over the years, but for some reason, they weren't too keen on joining up with me. So now I've gone and become my very own one-man barbershop quartet.

so I found www.barbershop.org and took a look at some music for a couple of tags (tags are just snippets of harmony, like a shortened version of the song)

Then it was time to bust out some Sound Recorder, which rocks in much the same way as Paint or Notepad.

"For Life is Interwoven (Tag)" - Morris "Mo" Rector

Unfortunately, I recorded this incorrectly, and a huge amount of hissing and clipping of words ensued. Really the only good part about this song is the final chord, which sounds kinda spiffy. The actual lyrics are "For life is interwoven, with the friends we used to know."

Not content with that little adventure, I then moved on to a more ambitious venture. And, having learned my recording lessons well, produced a far-superior tag.

"Into My Heart (Tag)" - Bill Rashleigh (Arr. Greg Lyne)

The hard part about being a one-man quartet, is that my range simply doesn't cover all the parts. I can fake alot of the high stuff, but I have to shift lower voices up an octave. Twice in "Into My Heart" I'm forced to sing the lowest note I'm capable of, and both times they're incredibly sharp because I just can't get down there. But by golly, it sounds pretty good anyway.

Man, my roommates must think I'm insane.

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Date:2006-03-20 21:02
Subject:Do NOT pass Go. Do NOT collect $200.

I despise automatic updates of any kind. I would rather not let my computer break wind without my direct say-so.

Norton update manager: Pops up every now and then, usually when I'm busy. So I tell it to remind me in a week. It pops up again about once an hour. Not that it matters, since I have no idea how effective Norton is; it's been affected by malicious code. But it certainly does its best, blocking all access to that icon that's actually a trojan, so I can't delete it from my desktop.

Windows Update: Pops up and asks if I want to update now, or later. I usually chose later. But I have to be careful, because if I do something silly, like fall asleep before I update, it'll pop up again, asking the same question. Only this time, with no one there to chose "later" it'll just go ahead and update on it's own, without any confirmation. That, more than anything else, pisses me off. And then of course, after it's updated, it'll ask if I want to restart my computer now or later. And again, if I'm not there, or asleep, or otherwise unable to chose, "later" It'll restart itself. Which is great if I'm asleep; it's not like I use my computer as an alarm clock or anything... It's not like the alarm clock won't work unless I'm logged in...

But other than automatic updates, which if you'd seen I-Robot you would know were evil without me having to tell you, I have little to complain about.

The lobby where I get my mail smells faintly of Vics Vapo Rub. Just faintly, so rather than reminding me of being sick, it reminds me of getting better. It's actually rather pleasant.

I threw out an empty Safeguard bar soap box this morning. When I went to the bathroom later, someone had opened it from the side. Someone had pulled it out of the trash and fiddled with it. Huh.

I was walking down the road today, and two joggers passed me. I noticed that the guy wearing shorts either had very short, fine hair on his legs, or he had shaved it off. I then spent the next three minutes wondering why I had noticed. Then I remembered back in high school when Erik shaved one of his legs for no particular reason. Then I saw a squirrel.

Which reminds me, Boise is covered in squirrels. If I were to lay a single trap out in secret to catch squirrels, I could probably make myself a huge squirrel costume in about four days. Seriously, I'd catch like one every 30 minutes.

"Come on, let's play Monopoly
Cash bound and ritzy property
I'll buy a house and watch my fortune grow, passing Go

You'll visit in my neighborhood
I'll land on Chance and hope it's good
We'll roll the die and let our worries fly away, let's play."

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Date:2006-02-27 14:40
Subject:Sweet... dreams.

yay! a cool dream!

too bad I can only remember the end.

I ended up in a dark bar talking to this really important guy (possibly Bruce Wayne or Spider Man(without the costume, but NOT Peter Parker)) I was giving him information tying the Wayne and Pierce families together, and of course, how they were all tied to the Foot Clan. I was telling him that the Foot have a huge seiries of tunnels that they use to gather information. I was given this information by a high-up Foot official. Of course, she was only telling me everything because she planned to kill me immediatly after (that part of the dream was super cool) So I'm telling this freedom-fighter guy all that I know, and I say, "They're using these tunnels to listen in on EVERYTHING." And the lady sitting with him's all like, "There's no way they can be listening to ev-" BAM!!! The door has been kicked in, and Foot Ninjas are dropping out of the ventilation. I immediatly scrambled into a back room. The foot were after the other guy (the one that can, y'know, fight) so I just need to get out of here before I was discovered. The room I was in had two temporary doors made of plywood, both of which lead outside. I picked the one on the left, and kicked it open (awesome). It revealed a WWII lorrie filled with Foot Soldiers, led by the lady that was out to kill me. So, I kicked open the other door. Unfortunately, all this meant was that the Foot were just around the corner. I was in an alleyway lit by an orange streetlight. The room I had just left appeard to be completely surrounded by a 30ft chain-link fence, with barbed wire on the top. I could hear the Foot approaching, as I leaped for the fence and started to climb. I really suck at climbing chain-link fences, so it's slow going. I hear the lady laugh, and something about holowpoint bullets. I suddenly let myself drop about three feet, just in time to avoid a pistol shot. Then, just as she was about to shoot again, a subordinate calls to her and says something important is going on. So she basically has to leave me be. Luckily, I'm wearing a long-sleeve sweatshirt, so I gather the sleeves/cuffs into my hands and use the cloth to protect them as I press down the barbed wire enough to swing myself over.

The next thing I remember, I'm back in this supermarket (I've been here in this dream before), near the deli meats section. Apparently, I'm just walking around. I notice an open package of thin sliced ham, with only two slices left, sitting in one of the displays. A little later, a guy walking around with two pieces of bread sees them, picks them up, puts them on his bread, and says, "well, it's a start anyway." and walks off. Then a very young model puts a package of some low-fat deli meat in her shopping cart. She later spies a different brand of the same kind of meat in someone else's cart (the cart was abandoned at the time) The young model starts to examine the other person's deli meat selection when the owner of the cart shows up. It's an older, more expierienced model. They start up a conversation on which deli brand is healthier. The more experienced model ends up telling her all about how HER brand of deli meat is supperior, healthy while still maintaining that great hickory-smoked flavor that blah blah blah... I realize that it's just a typical 1990's commercial for that particular brand of deli meat. Which is odd, because I don't see any cameras.

The End.

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Date:2006-02-07 15:20

I went to lunch today and had a chicken breast sandwich with swiss. The chicken was just a tad overdone, there wasn't enough swiss, and there was way too much bun. Not the biggest fan of bites of nothing but bread. I also mistook a "grinder" for a Mexican dish of some sort, which is perfectly fine- nine times out of ten, they're serving a Mexican dish anyway. I ended up asking for no sour cream, and then being told that it was a yogurt product.

I sat at this long bar-style table that faces out over the campus. I sat there because I was alone, the booths were taken, and it was nice so I wanted a view. Partway through my meal a small girl of Asian descent sits down two chairs over- the standard one chair we're-not-together-but-we're-sharing-the-same-area buffer that everybody uses in theaters, auditoriums, stadiums, bathrooms... basically anywhere in which people occupy rows. She was small, so she sat forward on her chair, and I saw a large bunch of keys sticking out of her back pocket, with a memory stick on the keychain as well. I then pondered whether she was a computer science major, a computer enthusiast, or just one of like two girls I know that own a memory stick, and the only one cool enough to carry it around with her. I of course covered the possibility that she was carrying someone else's keys- unlikely, but possible.

Eventually my mind shifted away to something else as it always does, and then when I was about 3/4 of the way through my food, she says, "What did you get?"

I turned- yes, she was talking to me, no friend had sat down next to her, she had just out of the blue taken an interest in the food on my tray. I looked at her tray, noticed she had also gotten the grinder thingy, so she must be referring to my sandwich. "Uh... chicken breast sandwich."

I then began to think about the sandwich, basically covering the points I made above about its general quality. And of course, I wondered why this person I'd never even seen before had asked about my food so suddenly. From the way she asked, it was almost as if she'd never been to the cafeteria-thing before, so she had somehow missed the grill, and was wondering how I'd managed to get my food in a basket. I also kinda ran a Jerry-George discussion through my head about how she'd verbally broken the buffer in such an unorthodox manner.

George: She broke the buffer!
Jerry: The buffer?
George: Yes, the buffer. The one-seat buffer.
Jerry: Huh?
George: Like in the theater, when you go to sit down, you leave an open seat between you and the person next to you as a buffer.
Jerry: Oh, right.
George: That way, even thought they're next to you, you're not sitting next to them.
Jerry: Right. The buffer.
George: Yeah.
Jerry: She broke the buffer?
George She broke the buffer. (laughter)
Jerry: So what, she sat down next to you?
George: No, she didn't physically break the buffer, it was a verbal break.
Jerry: A verbal break.
George: Yes.
Jerry: Well... was the buffer established? Because, if she was just sitting down and she says, "Hello" or something just to be polite, that's clearly pre-buffer, and therefore not a breach.
George: (gives Jerry a look while audience laughter)It had been like ten minutes! The buffer was well established. It was a well established Buffer!
Jerry: And she just broke it?
George: Went right through it!
Jerry: Just like that?
George: It was incredible. (more laughter) Ten minutes, then just, "What'd you get?" Just that. No warning, no "excuse me" no clearing the throat-
Jerry: -so it was a no-warning breach-
George: NO-WARNING BREACH! (laughter) Right through the buffer!
Jerry: Huh. Weird
George: I know.
Jerry: And what did you say?
George: Well I turned, to make sure she was talking to me-
Jerry: Right, you wouldn't want to just answer without being sure, you might break the buffer-
George: Exactly!
Jerry: Right, so you turned to make sure, and thusly confirmed the breach...
George: The breach was confirmed, (laughter) so I said, "Chicken breast sandwich"
Jerry: That's it?
George: What do you mean, "that's it" of course that's it, what else could I say! I was in shock.
Jerry: The buffer had been breached.
George: There was nothing else I could say-
Jerry: What else could you say-?
George: There was nothing. (laughter)
Jerry: Huh. Weird.
George: Yeah.
Jerry: Well, what happened next?
George: (leans forward with a "get this" look) Absolutely nothing.
Jerry: (pause for laughter) nothing?
George: absolutely nothing!
Jerry: She didn't say anything else!?
George: Nothing else!
Jerry: Not a word?
George: Nothing!
Jerry: And of course, you couldn't say anything, because the buffer had been re-established.
George: Right.
Jerry: Of course, the buffer would now be considerably weaker, but you didn't have anything else to say anyway.
George: Right.
Jerry: Weird.
Jerry: Just a freak buffer breach.
George: Out of the blue!

Then after I finished I got up and left.

The moral of the story is:

The only difference between a tortilla and pita bread is the thickness and the ingredients.

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Date:2006-02-01 04:50


I just checked out Google video... to see what I could find. I decided to browse the "popular" videos. I then chose two that seemed interesting.

Video one:

no, I'm not going to link them, because this is my post. The video's themselves are unimportant. What IS important is what I think of them. Anyway....

Video two:

This guy who apparently knows something about computers has overclocked his AMD and decided to tape it. He shows the motherboard itself and the first thing you notice (if you're paying attention) is that the cpu cooling fan is off. Scratch that- the first thing you notice is that the computer is ON- then you notice the fan is off. Then the guy removes the cooling aparatus (fan, heatsink, all of it) and exposes the processor itself. Uh... huh. No, his computer doesn't catch fire. That's what I was expecting. No, the cpu exploded. And I don't mean there was a pop and the chip went a-flying. It exploded. Not only was the chip blown off the board, but it blew a hole in the motherboard AND the table it was sitting on. Now, it was a crappy table, but still.

The point? There is no point! This is the good ship lifestyle!

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Date:2006-01-18 01:38

30 COLOR 14
40 CLS
50 entry = INT (RND * 1000) + 1

one of the people living in my suite moved out at the end of the semester. I think his name was Kellen. Anyway, the room was empty when I left, but I think someone else has moved in. I hear him going in and out of his room, and I've seen light under his door. I've yet to see him. Then today, I heard him speaking to someone else. They left together. And I guess they were speaking French. So yeah, I'm living with a French guy now.

60 PLAY "O3 T120 L4 MN"
70 PLAY "A+ C G+ < G+ D+"

Gerber is a baby food company... but there's also a Gerber Knife company...

80 SOUND 2600, 5

Back to the Future is awesome... but I have one problem. When Doc says, "ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-ONE GIGAWATS!!!" he pronounces it "Jigawats" which threw me off later when I wanted to say "gigabyte" I felt like an idiot.

oh and on that note, .gif is a "Gif", not a "Jif." The only possible way I'd consider it being a soft 'g' is if the word that the 'g' stood for was pronounced soft as well. But since it's Graphics Interchange Format, the "jiffers" don't have a leg to stand on.

Ah!  The lift!

90 FOR X = 2000 TO 16000
110 SOUND X, .07
120 NEXT X

there's a golf ball on my dresser back home, it says "Monte Carlo" on it. I have no idea where Monte Carlo is... or what it means

I am amazed to realize that I've never posted anything about this before. I have a mysterious hand bump. Twice it has come, and twice it has gone away. I have no idea what the hell it is. It just kinda appeared. Didn't hurt, barely noticed it. Then, after a few months, it was gone. A few months later, back again, then gone again. It's been a few years now, but weird.
huh.  weird.

I feel I have an obligation to society to spread the word about bump keys. So there.

whatever happened to Soleau?

"If the phone people don't want to print maps of Russia, fine. But don't turn around and call it the phone book. Don't deceive the public!"

I've always boasted my internet add-blocking prowess. Videos that have ads preceding them normally would just show a blank screen until the real content began playing. Web pages that display an ad before opening the actual page open up blank, with only the "Skip this Advertisement" link showing. I've had my computer for a year and a half, and the number of popups I've seen is in the single digits. But now, Atomfilms.com has upgraded their media player. Now, the add has become enmeshed with the content. So what does my awesome ad-defeating computer do? It refuses to play the video all together. All I get is a "Please turn off Ad blocking" notice. Comedy Central's new media thingy, Motherload is in the same kind of situation. So now I can't watch these videos. Am I frustrated, saddened, outraged at this denial of media? Nay! All I have to say is, Fuck you, Atomfilms. Fuck you, Motherload. If I have to turn off ad blocking to view your content, then the problem isn't my computer, it's your content. So fuck you and your content. I'm not turning anything off, you can just go fuck yourself.

Those that know me best, know that It's a rare day indeed that I drop the 'f' bomb. Therefore you must appreciate the elevated significance of the preceding.

"and the hearkening host hailed them roaring:
'let us go, yea go from the Gods forever
on Morgoth's trail oer the mountains of the world
to vengeance and victory your vows are ours!'" - the Noldor, in response to the oath of Feanor.

Man, foreign shows and movies that have been dubbed into English really suck when compared to the original audio with subtitles. Nothing against the voice artists, but there's no comparison. You just can't get the feel of what's being said without the original voices, even though you can't understand much of what they're saying.

It&quot;s true
There are 767 shoes in this tree. I counted. Where's the missing shoe?

at least the road can see me
Pretty. Painful.

I&quot;d say 7-8ft
Ah, yes, now we're in the thick of it.

Here it is. The all-encompassing shot that shows both the wonderous scenery, and the horrid condition of the road.

these actually point in the direction of travel, which freaked me out at first
It was a might chilly.

This looked alot cooler in person
not even the force of the wheels spinning could shake the water off before it froze.

you know you want to
mmmmmm, icey.

na errumuhjit gus shi sifodvmuat muefoph vjni. muul gus nusi iwip dpumis rjdvasit op shi gavvsi. epf polpt, shisi ot upi ug zua.
jij, shot ot rsivva duum. o chuamf gopf tpni muphfs tvagg vp tba. vsa siefoph ov uav muaf

Hah, I just found another bug. Oh well.

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Date:2005-12-07 01:32
Subject:No, it's not cold, the movie sucks.

Mild snow, on and off. I retired my bike for the season, I just don't like riding a frozen bike.

I saw a ferret/weasel/pine martin the other day. Eh, I'll go with weasel. It was black.

I saw the movie Sub Zero. Wow. I looked it up and apparently that's a 2005 movie. It's absolutely bad. I thought it was made in like 1990. I laughed out loud at least three times. So there's this... base or satellite facility or something, and it's in this frozen mountainous wasteland in the middle of nowhere. And it gets attacked and all the scientists are shot. No, this isn't Goldeneye, it's Sub Zero. Anyway, the guys that attack are after this computer key thingy... and they reprogram it... dang. No, I'm sure Pierce Brosnan isn't in this one... Anyway, the computer key thingy controls these satellites... and one of them turns and fires an EMP beam... Y'know what, have you seen Goldeneye? Yeah. Only in this one the Goldeneye is this cheap-looking rubik's cube with LED's in it, there's a bunch of satellites, not just two, and oh yeah- no James Bond. Or Boris. Basically, the rest of the movie goes like this:

Rip off Armageddon- the government must assemble a multi-ethnic-crack-team of... guys... that... do stuff... good. Oh yeah, and one of the guys that isn't part of the original team ends up causing gun-related conflict.

Rip off Cliffhanger- The guys that stole the RCMD (c'mon, you can guess) try to get away in this cargo plane that materializes on top of the mountain, but they crash and the thingy is lost. Oh yeah, and a member of the team has psychological issues because he lost a friend in a climbing accident.

Throw in a plane running out of fuel for no reason and having to make an emergency landing(of course, there's no runway and they stop just as the nose is edging over a cliff), a character being randomly poisoned by this mysterious gloved hand of mystery (seriously, they never find out who did it), the brave hero (but not the main hero, he has to live) that sacrifices himself for no freaken reason, a few drama-packed phrases like "Defcon Five," Rip some video-game sfx, and paste some explosions effects over video of the standing building and you've got yourself a movie.

I suppose that's the closest you could ever come to seeing a Lifetime Original movie that fits into the action genre.

Watch Fruits Basket. But not in english- use subtitles. The show is adorable.

Oh for crying out loud... Civilization IV is TURN-BASED!!!! The phrase, "Your hardware does not meet minimum specifications." should not appear in a turn-based game.

Hmmm... tomorrow's high temp is around 25 degrees. That's the high. I'm suddenly reminded of Paul Bunyan, and that day that it was so cold, because the sun wouldn't come up. The sun was stuck- wedged between to huge cakes of ice. I don't know, I think he used axle grease or animal fat or something to slide the sun free. If I remember correctly, that was the same day he found Babe, frozen blue in the snow. Never did lose that blue color, even once he thawed.

Doh... that was the winter of the Blue Snow... oh well.
That boy was just the biggest, bestest, toughest, strongest, ding-dandiest logger there ever was.

I read Shogun over the Thanksgiving holiday... again. I think that's four times now. That's probably my record.

www.thatcloudgame.com It's a game. It's Free. It's neato. Try it out. The last game I recommended on here I believe was Blockland, and that game rocks. This one does too, but my computer can't handle... the graphics... of this free game. This game could be compared to Katamari Damaci... only it's free, so it can't be THAT good. But there are similarities. So check it out.

The road not only had S-turns and Z-turns, and U turns, it had turns shaped like every letter in the dad-blame alphabet, including a few that ain't even been invented yet.

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Date:2005-11-17 22:56
Subject:on the road again.

Alrighty, I'm a-goin' home. I'll be driving. I could insert some cliche statement like "be afraid, be very afraid" but I won't, because I just did.

For those of you unaware, I got my ODL two days before I came to Boise this year. My parking permit requires me to move my vehicle from the residence hall parking area to a parking garage on the other side of campus every time there's a home game in the stadium. I've had to do that like, 5 times or something. Then I've gone across campus to help a friend out with his car a few times. I went to Burger King once. I went to Albertson's once.

The point is, since I've received my license, I've driven... 5 miles? Tomorrow should be somewhere around 440. I can't wait for there to be snow.

Also, last year for christmas my parents bought me a video card. Unfortunately, my motherboard didn't have the proper slot for it. It's not their fault, they had no idea(I had no idea, either). Anyway, I was looking at my motherboard the other day, and I noticed something.


So, apparently, my motherboard doesn't have an AGP slot... but it has a SLOT for an AGP slot.

Despite my best efforts, I can't seem to find anyone that sells just the slot. What kind of Crap is that? The capitalized kind.

"I've never had a dream where I could fly. Not one. You always hear about people being able to fly in their dreams, but I've never had one. But once, I DID have a dream where I could hover. It was hard, though, there was a trick to it. I had to jump up, and cross my legs while in midair. And I could hover like a foot off the ground. I couldn't go anywhere or anything, but I could hover." -Me.

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Date:2005-11-07 12:22
Subject:What day would be complete

without a little of the ol' blood and gore.

A few days ago, I finally emptied my trash. I had neglected doing so for the entire school year so far, and it was quite overflowing, despite multiple stompings. The next morning, I went to the front desk (in another building, the one I live in doesn't have a front desk) to get a few replacement trashbags so I could re-line the can. Unfortunately, they were out. Which is just wonderful, because I am incapable of throwing something out if the trashcan has no liner.
Fast forward to today. Now there's like 6-8 inches of trash on my desk. It's been a few days since I went back to the desk to ask for more trashbags, so I thought I'd hit 'em up just before I head to class. On my way down the stairs (my building), I slip and fall, twisting my knee, scraping a couple spots, and hitting my head. Great, now I've got a limp and a headache. I laugh it off, though, because it didn't hurt that bad, and come on, it's just funny when people fall down. So I continue over to the building with the front desk, thinking about my rotten luck, and concentrating hard on not limping, which isn't easy. I go through the door, holding it open a little so the girl behind me can catch it before it starts to swing shut. That's the worst, when you get to the door, and it's swinging shut, so you have to put all that extra effort into getting it open. It'd be easier just to open a closed door. Anyway, I'm going through the door, and the girl says, "Oh my god, are you BLEEDING?"
"Am I? Where?" I ask, which is a stupid question, because if I can't see it, then the only way she could show me is by pointing, and like some girl really wants to be touching my bloody(not a British reference)head. She's all, "I'm not sure." So I say, "Yeah, it's probably right here." as I indicate the spot that's the source of the pain in my head. Sure enough, my hand came back covered in a hairy-pattern of blood. Perfect. Just wonderful. I then take a detour to the nearest mensroom to find that the blood has run down my hair unnoticed, and has been randomly deposited upon the back of my neck. I do my best to clean up, but quickly realize that a shower is in order. I think bleeding clearly justifies missing my next class (reschedulable anyway) so I start to head back to my room. I pass the same girl, who's hanging out in the lobby, and she asks if I'm ok. I reasure her, confessing that I was surprised such a mild injury caused me to bleed (I wasn't trying to be macho, I really was surprised... you jerk). On my way out, I stopped at the front desk and asked for some trashbags. They were still out. Ok, it was like four days ago that I was last there looking for trashbags! What the hell? They're all like, "Blah blah blah still waiting for a shipment blah." I've got half a mind to WALK OVER TO A STORE, buy a big roll of those however-many-gallon trashbags, and beat these people over the head with it.
Anyway, I went back to my room and took a shower. Upon exiting, I found that I was still bleeding for some reason, so I'm doing that whole, "apply pressure with a paper towel" thing. Yeah.

GORE WARNING!!!--Check out the comments for a picture of the tiny little cut that just made my day(mild sarcasm).--GORE WARNING!!!

1: "Put them... in the IRON MAIDEN!"

2: "EXCELLENT!!!!"

1: "Execute them!"

2: "Bummer..."

1 comment | post a comment

Date:2005-09-18 22:47
Subject:"All right you chipmunks, you ready to sing your song?"

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."

I went for a walk today. It was my fourth official walk. On these four walks I have:

Seen two limos and a stretch Ford Excursion (so like three limos, each on a different walk)
Found two tennis balls (each on a different walk, only one was anywhere near a tennis court)
Took a ton of pictures.
Ate German Sausage.
Saw my band director.
Saw a cannon.
Found a disk golf course.

On today's walk, I was just strolling along, and I could have sworn I heard bagpipes. Then I was sure. So I'm walking around trying to find whomever's listening to these bagpipes(I'm in a slightly residential area). But the more I walk, the more I realize that this isn't a recording. So yeah, long story short, I got see some bagpipes. They were like a quarter mile away.

Oh, and I took a mean picture of a crack in the sidewalk. I think.

I downloaded The Core today, just to see if it was ok or really sucked as bad as it sounded like it did. I mean that hacker guy I keep hearing about sounds terrible. Turns out I actually downloaded Almost Famous. I'd never seen it, and never planned on seeing it. It was awesome. First of all, it opens up playing Alvin and the Chipmunks music. Not just any, but a song that I lipsinked in elementary school for a Christmas play. Scored some major points with me right off the bat. And then overall, I just liked it. It gave me deep thoughts.

Dang, when you're using msn, and one of your contacts is listening to a song and it shows up after their name, you should be able to listen to the song when you click on it. Not download, but listen.

I'd put up pictures, but I really don't feel like it.

"Me, I want a hoooooola hooooop"

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Date:2005-08-30 23:58
Subject:Oak Tale

I walk up and sit down on this bench just inside Heneseys, and this guy's all, "Hey, Sexy." So I get up and move one space closer to him on the bench (not an easy maneuver). That shut him up. He left. But he came back later, greeted me in the same manner, and created an awkward silence for everyone else at the benches, because they weren't there before, and they don't know who he's talking to. No one's talking. So I decide to break the ice by telling a story...

Me: "So there's this guy, and he's all, 'I love lemonade!'"

This is a true story, but naturally, Mr. "hey sexy" thinks I'm just telling a stupid made-up story, so he has to respond all sarcastic and stuff.

Other Guy: "NO WAY!! What did you say?"
Me: "So I'm all, 'dude, it's..."
Me: "just"
Me: "water."
Other Guy: "OMG!!!! How did he take it?"
Me: "except you can't say that in a sentence."
Me: "Go ahead, try to say it."
Me: "You can't"
Me: "just"
Me: "water"
Other Guy: "wow"
Other Guy: "Jesus"
Me: "And that's my story"

and I got up and left.

the moral?

I just plain don't like maple syrup. I'm sorry, that's just how I feel.

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Date:2005-08-20 10:05
Subject:Yes I'm Back

hmmmm... this dorm room is really hot. I have no idea how to work the air... thing. it's a one-button-system (I think the button is broken).

So I'm back in Idaho... and I'm warm.

all done with work. 335 miles. woot.

I'm so happy to be back on the internet. You know, the real one. The one where pages "open" and not "load".

Soon I will go out and take pictures by the thousands. I don't know where I'll keep them all, I'm reserving most of my computer for blatant copyright infringement.

I havn't been back 24 hours yet and I already threw up. Probably the only vomit this campus will see that's not alcohol-related. I wish I had had some tums, that would have been a great help. Oh well, I feel fine today. Except for the heat. The ceaceless heat. God, it's like 65 in the hall outside my room, why is it 90 in here!?

I'm done.

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